Truth Tuesday

After a weekend in which I probably made a few bad decisions, I am at 244.5. Down 1 lb! I will take it!

That's What I Like to Hear

My trainer said to me today post-workout - "That was great. You did a great workout today." I don't know that I have been that proud in a long time. It was a HARD workout and my arms feel like Jell-o right now but I DID it and I didn't give up. Baby steps.

Truth Tuesday

245.5 - a loss of 3.5 since last week and a total loss of 10.5 since beginning this quest.

I am thrilled with the loss this week. YAY!

On the other hand, too much Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition makes me feel like I should be capable of losing 70 pounds in 3 months.

I was anticipating a good number this morning and I got one, so I'm not quite sure where this ambivalence is coming from. Oh well! It's off to the gym anyway!

Confession

I'm going to confess something terrible. Ready? I miss binging. I really do. I miss being able to thoughtlessly eat and eat and eat. I miss the full feeling. I miss the way my mind would get quiet during a binge. I miss all of it.

I realized this today when I was having lunch with the family. The kids wanted pizza, so we went to our favorite place. I had a side salad, a water, and a slice of Hawaiian. And to be honest, I wanted to eat every slice in that store.

It's so weird to realize that really, I have been addicted to food. Or really, that I AM addicted to food.

Anyway, I didn't binge. I made good decisions. I did 30 min on the elliptical and did strength training for arms/shoulders today. I felt capable and like I knew what I was doing.

But I still miss binging.

A nugget of wisdom from RuPaul

From RuPaul's Twitter today, a nugget of wisdom that really made me stop and think:

Imagine yourself in the future looking back at yourself today - See how smart beautiful & fortunate U are & all the options U have

Truth Tuesday

By some miracle, I stayed steady at 249 for the past 2 weeks in spite of so much weirdness going on. I am sad that I lost 2 weeks during which I could have been making progress, but I will take it!

Back - Finally!

So I was on vacation for a week. I biked, I swam, I walked, and I ate appropriately. I was very proud of myself. And then at the tail end of my vacation, I got a kidney stone - a BAD one. I have had 5 in my life thus far and this one was SO bad that I landed in the hospital for a bit. Whew. I was so glad that was over.

We came home from vacation and I still wasn't feeling 100% but chalked it up to kidney stone recovery. Wrong! I had a giant ovarian cyst and was doubled over in pain from that.

Needless to say, I have been on a boatload of pain and nausea meds between the kidney stone and the cyst, and have not been working out. I am still not up to snuff but went back to my trainer last Thurs and back to my fitness class last Friday. It was ROUGH.

Because I have been feeling so crappy I have been eating badly, too. Not eating breakfast and then eating too much for lunch. Or not eating all day and then eating at bedtime, etc. I just have not been myself. I will be so glad to be feeling back to normal again.

Anyway, all that to say - 1) I'm BACK! and 2) I dread stepping on the scale tomorrow, but them's the breaks! See you then for the moment of truth - I am sure I have gained and I am also sure I will want to kick myself in the butt.